I Feel Layers

I feel layers.

My head is full of cotton wool

I feel alone and scared

I cannot leave my house today

I don’t know what’s out there.

Please don’t phone or talk to me

Don’t leave me on my own

Faking normal is just so hard

I’m screaming here alone.

How do I choose which dress to wear

Why does that make me cry

No make up, I’m invisible

I’ll just let tomorrow slide.

You have no words I want to hear

No path I want to tread

I’m deaf to aid from anyone

And blind to all that’s said.

I’m trapped within my minds confine

The straight line doubles back

I cannot steer a course that’s true

I feel layers but no track.

The thread by which I hang is weak

With no system of support

The pit beneath my feet is black

And roils with evil thought.

I’m slipping inch by inch toward

The dark unyielding hole

The everyday too much to bear

The me that was has flown.

Bea Marshall. 9-9-8