Unnamed

My mind is empty

I have no thoughts

Only feelings

My skin is stretched beyond recognition

With the force of the emotions

That are threatening to erupt.

Every word from your lips

Every look

Every dismissal

Expands inside and tears at my flesh

My eyes are tight shut

My mouth pressed closed

Lest the beast escape.

Your thoughts and words

Are knives

Sharpened with spite

Honed paper thin with practice

My every mistake

Real or imagined

Excrement with which you suffocate me.

One glance from those hate filled eyes

And inside I die

Again

Again

Over and over

You dig up my corpse to torment it again

And again

The most basic love

Twisted

Poisoned

Morphed into unnameable horror.

To let go would prove you right

To endure is hell.

Complete strangers

Past caring how the other feels.

Bound to our own corners by chains of pain

Oozing

Bleeding

Alone

But no more crying.

Tears so not release

Only add to the pressure inside my bones

Pushing hard at this semblance of sanity,

This skin that holds me together

Just.

Eruptions break out in the form of psoriasis

The putrescence seeking release

Becoming that which I am accused

Empty

Hollow

Unlovely.

Only one solution seems…

If only I could end…

Of course, no

Seeking attention

Of course

You’re right

Selfish

Of course

Of course

My role it seems is to endure

Says I, the martyr.

My feelings insignificant

Derisible

Wrong

Lies

I see only one solution because

I cannot let you go

And prove to you then

That I am all you accuse me of.

20-09-2012